63 Gambling Quotes to Become a Casino Yoda
A gambling quote a day keeps all your problems away. We’ve got you covered with 63 gambling quotes that range from funny to extremely useful.
Movies sure know gambling quotes
Pieces of art are meant to inspire, support but also educate us. These gambling quotes from movies are amusing, motivating and even helpful in difficult situations.
Thrill or madness?
“You know the best part of the best drug in the world isn’t the high. It’s the moment just before you take it. The dice are dancing on the table. Between now and the time they stop, that’s the greatest high in the world.” – Walter (Al Pacino) in “Two for the Money.”
A powerful quote that shows how gambling can start taking over someone life. If British players feel like they lose control of gambling, we strongly advise seeking professional help.
Interesting quote Mr Bond
“Bond didn’t defend the practice. He simply maintained that the more effort and ingenuity you put into gambling, the more you took out.” – Ian Fleming, Casino Royale.
This is approximately true, being that the more you understand a game of chance, there is less chance involved and more math.
You could say that slot sites are gambling in the purest structure.
When fortune is not on your side
“You don’t know when to quit, do you Griswold? … Here’s an idea: Why don’t you give me half the money you were going to bet, then we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts, and we’ll call it a day!” – Marty (Wallace Shawn) in “Vegas Vacation.”
Sometimes people need a reality check when they don’t know when to stop playing.
So much optimism
Lloyd: “What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together? … What are my chances?”
Mary: “I’d say, more like one out of a million.”
Lloyd: “So you’re telling me there’s a chance?”
– Lloyd (Jim Carrey) in “Dumb and Dumber”
One of the more positive gambling quotes shows us life is just more enjoyable when you’re optimistic. One must wonder, if someone had this attuite all day long, how successful would he be in gambling?
Those bookies man
“What I don’t understand is… when you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he, say, blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn’t seem fair to me. Especially when he’s going to kill me in four days anyway.” – Dr Farthing (Chevy Chase) in “Dirty Talk.”
We can’t argue with that logic since it sounds more like a scam than anything else.
A man of his word
“An Englishman never jokes about a wager, sir.” – Phileas Fogg (David Niven) in “Around the World in 80 Days.”
Well, since the UKGC so thoroughly regulates the UK market, any wager is addressed seriously and professionally. So compared to other gambling quotes from movies, this one has the most truth in it.
Love or cards?
Don’t you understand? Lucky at love, unlucky at cards. Or vice-versa. – Sari Hatvany (Lili Darvas) in “Meet me in Las Vegas”
You could say this is one of those gambling quotes about love, but one can’t have the best of both worlds.
Redemption through gambling
“I’m going to find moral redemption at the roulette table.” Mark Baum (Steve Carrell) in “The Big Short”
Our experts cannot guarantee any kind of moral redemption. Still, we recommend that our players go to their faiths house of worship if they search for redemption.
Mike, I learned it from you. You always told me this was the rule. Rule number one: Throw away your cards the moment you know they can’t win. – Jo (Gretchen Mol) in “Rounders”
Good advice is simple to use and beats any martingale strategy, which is the easiest one to comprehend.
Do you know how to get a sweet, little, old lady to yell “Get stuffed?”… Get another sweet, little, old lady to yell “Bingo!” – Gerry (Ben Mendelsohn) in “Mississippi Grind”
Any kind of funny gambling quotes and sayings must contain this one. This is one of our favourites gambling quotes so far.
Respect the lowest limit
“Marty: Eight’s the one, I’d stake my life on it.
Jay: They’ve got a $2 minimum bet.”
– Marty (Edward Walsh) and Jay (Richard Stephen Dreyfuss) in “Let it Ride.”
A funny quote, but online casinos do not accept wagers on souls only on money.
“Hal: I bet on horses sometimes, but I don’t really care about the money.
Rosemary: I never read that book.
Hal: What book?
Rosemary: Thing’s losers say.”
– Hal (Jack Black) and Rosemary (Gwyneth Paltrow) in “Shallow Hal”
Well, if money is no issue, you’re probably rich, not a loser.
It beats any prison we know
“I know more about casino security than any man alive, I invented it, and it cannot be beaten. They got cameras, they got locks, they got watchers, they got timers, they got vaults, they got enough armed personnel to occupy Paris!” – Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould) in “Ocean’s Eleven.”
Based on this quote, casinos sound more like a 21st century Alcatraz than anything else.
This is a little scary
“I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.” – Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler) in “Uncut Gems.”
The sad reality of addiction
“Most gamblers, when they go to gamble, they go to win. When we go to gamble, we go to lose. Even when we win it’s just a matter of time before we give it all back.” – Walter (Al Pacino) in “Two for the Money.”
This is the sad reality of unhealthy betting habits.
Get your priorities straight
“Nina: Hey, wait a minute, there’s something fishy going on here! You know, in a couple of minutes, we’re going to be naked, and then what?
Richie: Then we play one more hand.”
– Nina (Karen Allen) and Richie (Ken Wahl) in The Wanderers
This guy knows what his priorities are.
What’s life without gambling
“Everyone gambles. They may call it something else, like the stock market, or real estate. But make no mistake, if you’re risking something, you’re gambling. And if you’re gambling, then I’m the guy you want to see.” – Richie Furst (Justin Timberlake) in “Runner Runner”
One of the truest gambling quotes out there. If there is a may be involved, it’s a wager.
Funny gambling quotes worth sharing with friends
Like many other things in life, there always is something funny about gambling. Join us on a journey through the funniest gambling quotes.
Who does not like a nice semi-circle?
“I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.” – Mitch Hedberg.
The American comedian brings us a funny approach to blackjack with his trademark humour.
Anyone can relate
“Is it really not possible to touch the gaming table without being instantly infected by superstition?” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gambler.
The book revolves around roulette, so this most probably applies to this game more than others. Next time you place a bet on a live roulette casino site, try and see the first thing that comes up in your head. Maybe some superstition inevitably comes.
We can’t argue with that logic
“Gambling is the future on the internet. You can only look at so many dirty pictures.” – Simon Noble.
Well, Mr Noble is a bit biased, considering he works for the online casino industry. However, we cannot predict the future, but certainly, there is some truth to what he said.
Gamblers are not fast learners
“A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It’s usually three or more times.” – Terry Murphy.
If you don’t gamble, you can’t understand. Still, this deserves a spot in our funny gambling quotes section.
The same goes for online casinos
“Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. But you can always change the machine you are at!” ― James Hauenstein.
This applies perfectly to online casinos. Considering that more than 200 premium online casinos are listed on CasinoAlpha, you will always have something ready for you.
“If you aren’t just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich, or you haven’t studied the games enough.”— Terrence “VP Pappy” Murphy.
Legend says this is the norm when you enter any famous European Casino. But Salzburg Casino has this guy as insurance.
Odds? Don’t know, don’t care
“A gambler plays even when the odds are immutable and against him.” – Roger “Lou Krieger” Lubin.
This sounds like the odds for any roulette bet since there are consistently below 50% no matter the wager. But an optimist will never hesitate.
Valid words, my friend
“The house doesn’t beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself.” – Nick Dandalos.
This might be true, but keep in mind that any online casino has transparent information available on its website.
“Luck always seems to be against the man who depends on it.” ― Unknown Author.
If players feel like this applies to them, try certified strategies like the Martingale roulette strategy.
I don’t think that’s what the doctor ordered
“A man has to make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it.” – Jimmy Jones.
When it comes to funny gambling quotes, the comedian Jimmy Jones had to be on the list.
A rare situation of true equality
“Gambling is the great leveller. All men are equal at cards.” – Nikolai Gogol.
The famous Russian author gives us deep insight into a side of gambling that’s not easily observable.
Wager for entertainment, not money
“In order to be a successful gambler you have to have a complete disregard for money.” – Doyle Brunson
If you want to put the idea to the test, try the no deposit on registration offers. Since no investment was made on your part, maybe the odds will be in your favour.
Same job different levels of success
“When I was young, people called me a gambler. As the scale of my operations increased, I became known as a speculator. Now I am called a banker. But I have been doing the same thing all the time.” – Sir Ernest Cassel.
People will judge you no matter what. Sir Ernest Cassel knew this better than anyone; he was a trader and had many business ventures during his life.
Sinatra knew what was up
“Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks – It says, Goodbye.” – Joe Lewis (Frank Sinatra) in “The Joker Is Wild.”
Many people can relate to this one. Right?
Sounds about right
“Poker is a lot like sex, everyone thinks they are the best, but most don’t have a clue what they are doing.” – Dutch Boyd.
The difference being you can read player guides to improve at gambling. As funny gambling quotes go, this one is a gem.
Find the good in the bad
“Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.”– Tommy Cooper
Although this quote has a darker side to it, new experiences can bring new adventures.
Poker is the hardest easy game out there
“Poker is a hard way to make an easy living.” – Doyle Brunson
The Bellamy Brothers song is most probably the inspiration for this famous quote.
Valuable gambling quotes about life
Since many things in life involve some odds, gambling quotes can give us a deep insight into the workings that are not readily observable.
What are my odds, then?
“Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London, American Novelist.
You are always right, Mr London. The hand of faith can be changed using only wisdom and wisdom alone.
Preparation is the best habit
“In gambling, you usually start to go wrong when you deviate from your pregame strategy.” – James Holzhauer.
This applies to most casino games but not to all.
Read the context
“True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home.” – John Milton Hay.
Everything is good in moderation; the same goes for games of risk.
A little outdated
“A gentleman is a man who will pay his gambling debts even when he knows he has been cheated.” – Leo Tolstoy.
It’s an interesting quote about honour more than anything, and maybe in Tolstoy’s time, it made more sense than now. In today’s world, problems like cheating are easily avoidable since institutions like the United Kingdom Gambling Commission protects players rights.
Money makes the world go round
“The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius.” – Julius Weintraub.
Money makes the whole world go round.
There are many ways to make money
“Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.” –Samantha Bee.
He earns something; they earn something; everybody is happy. But who’s the loser?
So do many other things in life
“Gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. It’s getting money without giving an equivalent for it.” – Henry Ward Beecher.
An interesting quote that’s interesting since it’s coming from a priest.
This applies to many facets of life
“At gambling, the deadly sin is to mistake bad play for bad luck.” – Ian Fleming.
A person that approaches everything with detachment and calm will always see things objectively.
Some good movie wisdoms
“If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.” – Mike McDermott (Matt Damon) in Rounders.
Someone always must be the sucker since there is no victor without a loser.
Reality can be sad sometimes
“In gambling, the many must lose in order that the few may win.” – George Bernard Shaw.
Sadly, this applies to more facets of society than one might like to think.
Always keep this in mind
“I want people to understand, gambling is not a bad thing if you do it within the framework of what it’s meant to be, which is fun and entertaining.” – Michael Jordan.
Michael Jordan knows what’s up. This is the healthiest approach to any casino endeavour.
Poker a deep game indeed
“I had always been fascinated by the bizarre world of cards. It was a world of pure power politics, where rewards and punishments were meted out immediately.” – Ely Culbertson.
Gambling encompasses a lot of aspects of life. One just needs to have eyes to see it.
Gambling is a human activity
“Gambling is not a vice; it is an expression of our humanness. We gamble. Some do it at the gaming table, some do not. You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play.” – Jeanette Winterson.
This sums up perfectly the ups and downs of life.
Pull through with helpful quotes on gambling addiction
We all know someone who has developed some unhealthy habits. Vices come in all shapes and sizes. For this reason, one must always keep an eye on their behaviour. We collected some helpful gambling quotes to prevent and support people that go through addiction.
“Eat your betting money but don’t bet your eating money.” – Unknown
One must always be careful.
This is how rock bottom looks like
“You know you have a gambling problem when it’s 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book, and you’re walking around going, ‘Hey you get the lacrosse scores?” – Artie Lange.
A sad quote that shows the heights of desperation gambling addiction can bring. We urge our British players to always stay in control of gambling by playing responsibly. However, if problems appear, seek help from professionals and family members.
Too much hope can kill you sometimes
“A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.” – William Bolitho.
Don’t we all hope for the best in our lives, or this is just wishful thinking.
The house always triumphs
“In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all.” – Sam ‘Ace’ Rothstein (Robert De Niro) in “Casino.”
This is the exact reason why players must have disciplined behaviour and not be caught in the spider’s web.
Most people only lose
“In most betting shops you will see three windows marked “Bet Here”, but only one window with the legend “Pay-Out”.” – Jeffrey Bernard.
If players were not convinced that the house always succeeds, they should make them think.
The odds are not in your favour
“You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it.” – Albert Einstein.
The roulette odds are not that great, but this goes a little overboard. Maybe the famous genius had some bad times playing.
“Writing is like gambling. Unpredictable and sporadic successes make you more addicted not less.” – M. John Harrison.
And that’s how they keep you hooked. When players have a small victory, they should think at this quote.
“Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich, something for nothing.” – George Bernard Shaw.
The big difference is that poor people need to be fortunate at least once every month.
Remember that you cannot be successful all the time
“This was my first lesson about gambling: if you see somebody winning all the time, he isn’t gambling; he’s cheating.” – Malcolm X.
As the odds go, it’s statistically impossible to be successful all the time.
Only have faith in yourself
“In his gambling, he had one besetting weakness- faith in a system that made his damnation certain.” – Jack London.
Well, the system revolves around the fact that the house always wins. But at least the system is transparent by showing players the RTP and RNG data.
Cut your losses
“It’s hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you’re on a losing one.” – Cara Bertoia.
It always starts small & relaxed, and as you get deeper and deeper, things get sadder and darker.
Religious Quotes to help you in difficult times
Religion and any form of casino practice do not go well together. Mainly because, generally, faith considers gambling a vice or, even worse, a sin.
We disagree with this, but many people can find some solace and power in religious beliefs to overcome the trauma of addiction. For this reason, we choose some quotes to help our players.
Gambling Quran quotes
The most outstanding work of classical Arabic literature is very critical of many practices that involve chance. However, these gambling quotes can come in handy for players that need a self-exclusion period.
Fight your inner demons
“Satan’s plan is to excite enmity and hatred between you, with intoxicants and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allah, and from prayer. Will you not then abstain?” – Quran 5:91
In times of great inner strife brought by addictive behaviour, calm your mind through meditative prayer.
Look for the way
“They ask you [Muhammad] concerning wine and gambling. Say: ‘In them is great sin, and some profit, for men; but the sin is greater than the profit.’… Thus does Allah Make clear to you His Signs, in order that you may consider” – Quran 2:219
If you have a problem regarding responsible gambling, we hope this quote will convince you to self-exclude.
Gambling quotes in the Bible
The Bible has a similar approach to the Quran when it comes to gambling. We choose quotes that highlight the importance of moderation and self-control.
Be master of your fate
“I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. I have the right to do anything”–but I will not be mastered by anything.” – Corinthians 6:12
Constantly seeking pleasure without the contra balance of productivity will cause problems sooner or later.
Greed is not healthy
“He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity.” – Ecclesiastes 5:10
Constantly pursuing more can sometimes lead to irresponsible behaviour.
Better yourself, not your bank account
“But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.” – 1 Timothy 6:9
If someone is not born rich, they cannot become rich without hard work.
Like anything else in life, this article had to come to an end. CasinoAlpha experts hope everyone who skimmed through the quotes left with more knowledge or at least with a smile.
The gambling market has many various offers but always be disciplined and responsible during any gambling endeavour.